"I met up with a guy at a bar. It was like pulling teeth to talk with him. I try to talk about travel — 'I don't see why anyone would ever want to leave the US.' I try to talk about running — 'I don't know why people run for fun.' Finally he contributes something as says he likes cars. So I tell him about how my brother just purchased an Aston Martin.
'Aston Martins are shit. I really only like Camaros.' I tell him I drove an old Camaro for nine years — 'You don't know s--- about cars.' (I don't, not going to deny that...but really, all I said was that I drove a Camaro from age 16-25).
Then, to top in off, he starts talking about No Fap...and how he tried that but it just made him angry, so he followed strict 'masturbate once every three days' policy. He said it gave him sizeable loads without affecting his mood.
Check please. Separate, duh.
As we part ways, he tries to go in for a hand shake.
I jokingly ask if he masturbated today. He says yes. I ask if he washed his hands. He hesitates. I smile and say bye, leaving his hand hanging out there.
By the time I get home, he has deleted me from Tinder." - Reddit user Chaharlot